i must apologize for my last "article." (wow.. feels like journalism class...) i don't know.. im a teenager and fall into random spurts of emotions. yea... so i was so sad that i drank. i'm turning into quite an alcaholic... yeup... nothing more attractive than a 17 year old alcaholic. OOO... those people that never cut their toenails. SEXY. i know i shouldnt be doing the shit i'm doing, cuz i know i have a weak self control (case in point: my "relationship" with brian), but...
anyways... i realized something today. i had mispelled my pseudonym. ballons. what the hell is ballons!? yea.. im not too bright. *knocks own head to emit hollow sound*
and a thank you to the nice person who left the comment. its always so nice when strangers leave comments. yes.. i'm one of those people that find beauty in strangers... arnt strangers so much easier to talk to? alright.. now i just sound like one of those bums taht yell inappopriate comments to people on the street. *IS THAT A MOLE OR A COOKIE ON YOURFACE!?!*
anyways... something that had been on my mind...
i been talking to this guy named david for a while now. we went to the same elementary school together, and haven't seen each other since. he used to have a crush on me, and i seemed to have trampled the poor boy's heart back in 6th grade. -___- So we've started talking, and it was so great. you know.. i call it the "3 second crush" syndrom, when you just meet someone and you're amazed by how wonderful it is. The thing was... he had a girfriend. (yes.. if u were attentative.. you might have caught the was.) But she was in Korea to be a singer and whatnot. And i couldn't help but feel that he was getting the same feelings for me... and then they broke up. Now, before you start screaming, HOMEWRECKER!!, she broke up with him without any knowledge of me.
so... the day after... he tells me how he had been feeling. and i tell him that i would be lying if i hadn't been thinking about him too. But.. i couldnt help but feel that something was not right. I mean.. the boy JUST broke up with his girlfriend whom he declared he had loved. how seriously could he have meant what he said? And then he gives me this bullshit line like " i think i've always liked you.. just forgot about it." I WANTED TO SCREAM.. YOU BASTARD! U DIDNT EVEN KNOW ME BACK IN 6TH GRADE. U JUST THOUGHT I WAS PRETTY!! but i hold my mouth shut... let it go.
then the other day.. i finally told him. and we got in an argument. he was joking and saying "i love you" and stuff.. and i finally snapped and said, "how can i take u seriously?" anyways.. miscommunication... and then we just got really mean to each other. felt like CRAP for the next day and a half till he said sorry. both of us decided to just forget about this whole thing. (probably another stupid error) and he asked me out.. but i couldnt go. i kinda didn't want to.
so i'm just confused. i mean, i do like the guy. but i think all but one friend doesn't approve. but then again, they havent met him, mind you. Steven just thinks he would be bad because he went to juvie, got a dui, etc. (ok.. so he's NOT the nicest boy of the bunch) Vina thinks what he said when we had are "argument" was mean. Suzy and Connie just think of him as still the dork from elementary. but i dont care about what they think. and i can't help but feel that it won't work out either.
*sigh* but i can't stop thinking about him.